This is the fifth episode of the third series of That Mitchell and Webb Look. It is the seventeenth episode overall. It originally aired July 9th, 2009.[1]



Comedy sketch show starring David Mitchell and Robert Webb.

Features a pair of cellists who want to build an airport; some bad news about toast; a bitter row about pens; and a very saintly man on top of a pole. Plus, there is the exciting police drama Bussman and Christmas, featuring an old-school cop with a jumper, a paper hat and a bit of a sherry problem. Also, the secret behind the futuristic cult of Vectron is revealed.[2]

Sketch ListEdit


Picture Title/Description/Cast Sidenotes
Wheat Intolerant
Two lifestyle nutritionists deliberate on how to deal with a client.
  • There are indeed loads of fat and crisps. Meanwhile, white veal is not, in fact, a superfood.
  • Written by Jonathan Dryden Taylor and David Mitchell.
A king's advisors argue about wy he keeps giving favors to the seemingly inept apple-of-his-eyes, Lucentio.
  • King: Robert Webb
  • Lucentio: Toby Davies
  • Advisor #1: David Mitchell
  • Advisor #2: James Bachman
  • Advisor #3: Mark Evans
  • Written by Mitchell and Webb.
Bts subtext
Behind the Scenes: Subtext
David's new phone features subtext to tell him what his texts really mean.
  • David Mitchell: Himself
  • Robert Webb: Himself
  • David is wearing part of his costume for the role of Ginger in the "Sir Digby Chicken Caesar" sketches.
  • Written by John Finnemore.
University and Nepotism
It's the education debate that just won't go away: how did all the A-level students get A's?
  • Narrator / Education Minister: David Mitchell
  • Professor / Interviewer: Robert Webb
  • Professor #2: James Bachman
  • Students: Isabella Laughland, Seroca Davis, Jamie Sweeney, etc.
  • Written by Jonathan Dryden Taylor and David Mitchell.
Bussman and christmas
Bussman and Christmas
Alan Christmas muses on Christmas while the duo work on solving a crime.
  • Detective Constable Mike Bussman: Robert Webb
  • Detective Sargent Alan Christmas: Himself
  • Station Boss / Criminal #1: James Bachman
  • Criminal #2: Mark Evans
  • While shooting a scene, David made them redo a take after eating a "fucking horrible nut."[3]
  • Written by Jason Hazeley and Joel Morris.
Lucentio: Part II
The king's advisor asks if he wants to have sex with Lucentio.
  • King: Robert Webb
  • Lucentio: Toby Davies
  • Advisor #1: David Mitchell
  • Advisor #2: James Bachman
  • Advisor #3: Mark Evans
  • Written by Mitchell and Webb.
Two cellists want to build an airplane runway in their backyard.
  • Ben Bishop: Robert Webb
  • Carrie Bishop: Abigail Burdess
  • Show Host: David Mitchell
  • Written by Mitchell and Webb.
Nitd mitd
Get Me Hennimore: N.I.T.D. and M.I.T.D.
Recurring: Hennimore has to send the Murder in the Dark Club and Society for Nervous Incontinence to the right rooms, but some faulty signs cause confusion.
  • Hennimore: Robert Webb
  • Boss: David Mitchell
  • Written by Toby Davies and David Mitchell.
My shags as a whore
Lazy Writers: My Shags As a Whore
Recurring: The lazy writers present their most serious work to date, a highly-inaccurate tale of a prostitute.
  • John Gibson: Robert Webb
  • Andrew Turner: David Mitchell
  • Prostitute: Sarah Hadland
  • Man #1: Mark Evans
  • Man #2: James Bachman
  • Written by Jonathan Dryden Taylor and David Mitchell.
Two men meditate, though one isn't particularly happy about it.
  • Meditator #1: David Mitchell
  • Meditator #2: Robert Webb
  • Written by Kieron Self and Giles New.
Bts pen
Behind the Scenes: Pen
David sets some guidelines in loaning Robert his pen.
  • David Mitchell: Himself
  • Robert Webb: Himself
  • Written by James Bachman.
Police the bill
The Policemen: The Bill
Recurring: A police officer mocks a community support officer and sends him to prison for humming the theme song to "The Bill."
  • Police Officer: David Mitchell
  • Community Support Officer: Robert Webb
  • Written by Mitchell and Webb.
Hail vectron
Hail Vectron
After taking a sick day, Pete is confused to find his workmates hailing "Vectron."
  • Chancellor Steve: David Mitchell
  • Pete: Robert Webb
  • Ambassador Jeff: Mark Evans
  • Vice Sky Marshal Tim: James Bachman
  • Vectron is described as having a beard, a kindly claw, knees, and being eternal.
  • Written by Mitchell and Webb.


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